Many have found that when you put yourself last, it truly impacts not only yourself, but the world around you. Not giving yourself a few moments a day, can effect your work focus, your family life as well as your own personal mental health well being. Challenge yourself by planning out a 30-day self-care challenge. Decide one activity that you'd like to do for yourself weekly, such as getting a pedicure, taking a walk, having dinner with a long time friend and more. Write down one small challenge daily such as taking ten minutes in the morning or evening to meditate for ten minutes, to stretch the stress your body or just to listen to your favorite new song and dance about the house! It's the simple acts of kindness you give yourself that promote a truly happier and healthier mind, body and soul. TLCinabox.com has journals that you can use to help promote a better you.
Posted by Carly the Mommy | Jun 13, 2016
I SAW THIS SIGN ONCE, AND IT SUMS UP MY WHOLE POINT HERE TODAY.I love it so much. So that’s basically the jist, but I’ll go ahead and give you more details so you don’t feel like you wasted your time clicking here
Plus it’s actually more complicated than that.
I’ve mentioned before that I have found therapy endlessly helpful in dealing with my anxiety. My therapist has given me SO many of the tools that I use on a daily basis to confront my demons head on.
But if you can’t afford therapy or don’t have the time or are just to scared to go, then know that there are still things you can do on your own to recover from anxiety.
One of the reasons that therapy is so beneficial is that it takes the generic out of YOUR anxiety and helps you to deal with your personal issues. I can talk for hours about MY stuff, the ways that MY anxiety whirls around in MY mind… but I don’t know anything specific about YOUR stuff.
The good news here is that we’re all human and our stuff is often similar even if it’s not the same. So I don’t feel like I’m wasting my breath telling you about my experience. I could write for days on my experiences with CBT (cognitive behavior therapy), but today I’m going to just focus on the ONE aspect that has been the MOST helpful for me.
In CBT, you identify and challenge your negative (or anxious) thoughts. It works. BUT, I find that it’s easier to challenge the negative thoughts when there are lessof them, so it’s very important to know how to cut down on the number of negative thoughts you might have, before you even start to challenge them.
Starve the fears. If the fears are starved, they’re weaker.
There are two main ways that my fears are fed. Thoughts that are planted in my head and thoughts that I allow to run around in my head. (Sort of the same, but very different in that there are different courses of action I need to take against these things.)
SETTING UP BOUNDARIES ABOUT WHAT COMES INTO YOUR HEADBoundaries for what’s coming into your head are different than boundaries for what you’re going to allow yourself to experience, just FYI. (Understand that as you read this. Living well with anxiety means finding ways to deal with the anxiety, not hide from every anxiety inducing experience.)
It’s ok for you to (politely) tell a friend, “I just can’t hear this dentist horror story (you’re telling) right now because I have a dentist appointment coming up and I’m so nervous about it”.
You NEED to go to the dentist, you don’t NEED to fill your head with scary dentist stories first.
See the difference? That’s what I’m talking about here. I’m not suggesting you give up the dentist / riding in elevators / getting on airplanes. Just the things that create excessive unnecessary negative or anxious thoughts about those things.
(In fact, actually going to the dentist can be very beneficial if you’re afraid of the dentist. That sounds backwards, but it’s called exposure therapy and it absolutely works for some people. Filling yourself in on (likely uncommon) stories of unfortunate things that have happened to people who had a root canal will not help you.)
You’ll notice while I write about my experiences that I’m not going to describe in any detail the sorts of things that bother me. That’s important. Hold that thought and I’ll come back to that.
I have found that setting strict boundaries for what I allow my mind to be exposed to has helped SO much.
I know, from repeated experience, that feeding the anxious thoughts in my head (through TV, the radio, books, social media, passing conversation ect) can be extremely detrimental to me. Sure, there are people who don’t understand my position on totally avoiding horror movies, crime shows, shows with violence, THE NEWS, ect but it doesn’t matter if they understand. I understand (& my husband / family / friends) and that’s what’s important.
It’s not always easy and it takes practice. It takes resolve. When I first started telling people that I wasn’t going to watch the news anymore or started asking my family to stop talking about certain subjects while I was with them, some of them even told me that sticking my head in the sand wasn’t the best way to deal with my problems. (That stung a little bit.)
But my resolve to live a life not controlled by anxiety was pretty solid and I held my ground.
At the beginning that even meant leaving the room when the conversation was unnecessary for me, leaving the theater when the movie was more violent than we expected. Finding something else to do (in another room) when the TV show we were watching turned out to be a little spooky but the other person wasn’t willing to turn it off. It’s also meant unfriending (or unfollowing) people on Facebook that post things that bother my brain.
Keeping the anxiety-inducing influences out of my head is a BIG help towards getting started on the next step – which is the most important thing I have ever done for my anxiety.
TAKING CONTROL OF THE THINGS YOU THINK ABOUTSometimes, though, the anxious thoughts get in. For every thought, (not just anxiety-inducing thoughts) once it’s in your head you have a choice to make:
Do I follow this thought or not?
Imagine that you’re driving your car down a straight road. The road is so straight the car is practically on autopilot; you’re really not having to put any effort in to drive. You know the road ahead is dangerous + scary – you’ve gone down it before. There’s a turn just up ahead. That’s a safe road, but you’ll need to take control of the car and make it turn. You’ll have to do the driving. What do you do?
Learning to recognize and get off the road at those first anxiety causing thoughts is so important.
Sometimes that’s easier said than done.
At first, it might even take physical action to disrupt your “car” of thought. When you see that dangerous road ahead, you have to make the turn.
Most of my anxiety inducing thoughts come at night, right after I turn off the lights to go to bed. This means sometimes I need to get back out of bed, turn all the lights on, and watch TV or read something that will distract me. Just laying there in the dark and trying to force myself to think of something else is NOT going to work.
Going for a run is fantastic way to turn off my thoughts. Having a conversation with someone about a completely unrelated topic is awesome. Praying about something not related to what’s causing you anxiety is awesome. (Go ahead and pray briefly about your anxiety, but praying long prayers about what you’re thinking about is still counted as thinking about it, and it’s shooting yourself in the foot. Your prayers don’t need to be wordy to be answered. God gets that thinking about this stuff is making it worse for you.)
Remember – I won’t describe the things that make me anxious? ‘Cus that would be thinking about them. Eventually you will learn to STOP those thoughts in their tracks, and NEVER get on the road.
When I first started seeing my therapist for anxiety we worked through this Anxiety & Phobia workbook, which was absolutely awesome. It has a whole section on “over coming negative self-talk” (which is totally about controlling your thoughts). I recommend it to everyone who struggles with anxiety and would like some more guidance on this subject.
Take control of your thoughts, do not feed the fears. Do not google your symptoms if your anxiety is health related. Do not read about medical mistakes if you’re afraid of the doctor. Do not watch Jaws if you’re afraid of the water. Don’t join in conversations about the upcoming election if the future of the world makes you nervous. Why make your anxiety worse than it is?
P.S. Recently I read one of the best posts I have ever come across in all the internet world – and I’ve been meaning to share it here, because I think it’s SO relevant to this exact subject. Go read What to do when the scary world gets to you from Morgan @ Morgan Manages Mommyhood, and be totally inspired!
♥ Read Part 1 of The Ultimate Guide to Living (Well) With Anxiety
♥ Read Part 2 – Understanding Anxiety Disorders
♥ Read Part 3 – Understanding Panic Attacks
♥ Read Part 4 – Anxiety and Diet
♥ Read Part 5 – Natural Supplements for Anxiety
♥ Read Part 6 – What can Exercise do for Anxiety?
♥ Read Part 7 – Do Not Feed The Fears
♥ Read Part 8 – Talking About Anxiety
♥ Read Part 9 – For the Christian With Anxiety
♥ Read Part 10 – 3 Things to Remember When You Are Anxious
Martin Luther King continues to inspire. However, today our society appears to be struggling more than we could have ever imagined. From what is presenting as a negative political climate to a realization that our communities may not be as supportive to those who are different, we need to understand that every one of us is an individual. Our individuality is what makes us different, unique and not one of us is a like. We need to learn how to speak up not just for others, but for ourselves and to become our unique individual selves that we deserve to be. Learning to embrace you is just as important as accepting others.
January is mental health awareness month and this month TLCinabox.com will be reminding us it's truly important every day to set aside time for ourselves daily. If we choose to do this, we can then help those we love, those we want to support and in turn, we become our best selves. Let Martin Luther King Day remind us to not only inspire others, but inspire ourselves.
It's amazing to think of how our Self-Care needs can be made up of multiple layers. In today's world with work stress, family stress and financial stress these can all take a toll on your inner well-being. In January, let TLCinabox.com help you focus on the following six Self-Care components to ensure a better you. Social Self-Care, Emotional Self-Care, Physical Self-Care, Practical Self-Care, Spiritual Self-Care & Mental Self-Care.
Social Self-Care: Write a thank you note to a friend, get together with a friend or family member that you missed during the holidays, have a small group of friends over for a game night or connect by calling a friend instead of texting them.
Emotional Self-Care: leave a positive sticky note to yourself on your bathroom mirror, write in a journal your strengths, set a side ten minutes for a cup of coffee or tea and allow yourself to decompress from the day or create a small art project or simply hug your pet.
Physical Self-Care: Get up each morning and simply stretch, drink a glass of water before you start your day, take the time for breakfast, watch your favorite movie or go for a short walk.
Practical Self-Care: Set up a list to designate each day for a small task to get your home cleaned and organized. Such as picking up groceries on Monday, doing laundry on Tuesday, bills on Wednesday and so on. Learn how you work best to organize and clean. Do you clean room by room or find that picking up items from each room, placing them in a basket as you go and then working out of the basket to get your home clean. Practical Self-Care is not just about how you handle home tasks, but how you handle investments, bills and creating daily meals and more. Take a day to research on how to budget if you find you are struggling at times, learn how to save money through many websites or find a new recipe that you never tried.
Spiritual Self-Care - At the start of each day or at the end of each day, stretch and then meditate for 10 minutes, read a book that is inspiring, volunteer within your community, become more mindful of your surroundings or even do an act of kindness. Simplicity of life creates a more balance life.
Mental Health Self-Care - Start an art project, write a poem, watch your favorite movie or pick up a new book. If you struggle with depression, anxiety or have other diagnosis and have no therapist, set a goal this month or week to obtain one. Start by reaching out to your insurance company and find one in your area. A therapist or counselor can make all the difference. Find a support group within your community. If you have avoided friends and family because of feeling depressed, make one day of week to reach out by texting or calling at least one person. Try to be more mindful and take each morning to set up a good hygiene routine. Take a break from all social media for a half day or full day. Allow yourself to relax, unwind and find the simplicity of the day.
TLCinabox.com has therapeutic products to help support all of your self-care needs.
It's time to stop with self-doubt and hesitation. A new year brings about transitioning not only into a new year, but allows us to reflect on our own life journey and challenges. Take this time to stop and reflect on what you felt you did accomplish by the end of 2017. It may benefit you to write down how you were able to manage difficult moments and move forward from them. By starting 2018 with listing your achievements and how you were able to manage difficult moments, will start your January in the right direction and in a positive mind set.
If you are finding it hard to make a list of your accomplishments, simply start with writing down a simple act of kindness you recently did, noting something that are you grateful for and go on to list a challenge that you felt you were able to handle well. You deserve to give yourself a pat on the back and be proud of what you have achieved. Make January the kick off month to become a more balanced you. Gaining a more positive mindset can only benefit you to create a life direction that includes a more positive well-being for your mind, body and soul.
You can always find extra support at TLCinabox.com for your therapeutic products.
Most people in our culture feel the need to be going all the time. If we are not working and putting our energy into something, we believe we are wasting time. We may feel taking time for ourselves is a waste and won’t accomplish anything.
And to some extent it’s true – relentlessly pushing yourself may bring some measure of success. However, most of time going for long periods without time for yourself may cost you in the end. Stress and the inability to just enjoy a little time-out have very real health and psychological effects.
Health effects can include heart attacks, strokes, asthma, obesity, diabetes, headaches, gastrointestinal problems, lessened immune function, and even premature death. Mentally, people may experience mental fatigue, insomnia, confusion, poor concentration, depression, anxiety, and increased irritability. Just like we need sleep, we need time out.
Why Time To Yourself Is ImportantObviously, the biggest reason to take a little time out for yourself is to avoid the negative consequences of not doing so (like the health problems I mentioned above). But more than that, “me” time can make you a better person both inside and out.
First of all, taking some “me” time can help you avoid irritability and enable you to control your emotions. If you live with someone, like a spouse, partner or children, or even pet, they may not understand your need to take “me” time but they certainly will appreciate the way your mood has improved. Both the people who are close to you, and the people you work with, will appreciate that you have greater stamina and better ability to concentrate.
The lack of time to yourself can cause you to build up resentments that can harm both you and your relationships. When you spend all your time filling other people’s cups, it’s likely yours will run empty. Sometimes, especially when we’re tired, we may become angry about giving so much.
We sometimes minimalize our need for “me” time by thinking about how we’re denying attention to other things that are important to us, such as our family, our friends, our gym time, our book club, the lawn, or whatever else. We feel selfish taking the needed time out when there’s so much left to do. However, if you run yourself into the ground you’re not going to be much help to anyone, and you won’t be able to be fully engaged in your activities anyway. Your health is vital, and if you think these obligations can’t succeed without you, think of what might happen if you become sick and have to set them aside for a longer amount of time. You need a little time to recharge your batteries.
How To Take “Me” TimeIt might seem easy to schedule a little “me” time, but often it isn’t. You must give yourself permission to take at least a half hour per day, even if it’s divided, just for yourself. If you have to, set the alarm, schedule it on the calendar, or put it on your “to-do” list for the day. Whatever you have to do, make it happen every day.
Taking this “me” time can be as simple as sitting on the deck, reading a book, and watching the sun come up with a hot cup of coffee, or it can be as detailed as engaging in a beloved hobby for a half hour or more. Unless you consider texting or talking on the phone a relaxing activity, keep all devices turned off.
If you take your “me” time at home, be sure that those around you are aware that you will be off limits – except in an emergency, of course. It might be best to define ‘emergency’ or you may be interrupted by perceived emergencies that could have easily waited until after your rest period.
Setting boundaries is important. Realize that there are limits to what you can do, and build your life around that. Also acknowledge that you need to limit the demands that other people can make on your time.
The Benefits Of “Me” TimeTaking a little time for yourself refreshes and re-energizes you. It allows you to think more clearly and make better decisions.
Taking “me” time also builds your self-esteem over time, as you come to realize that you are important and deserve to have a little time to yourself. If you engage in something you enjoy during your time-out, you also have the satisfaction of reading that book, finishing that project, or writing that poem. But be careful that you use your “me” time for leisurely activities and don’t push yourself to complete anything. Simply enjoy the time out.
Other benefits include the ability to sleep better, less fatigue, depression and anxiety, greater resistance to sickness, and less tension.
Indirectly, taking time for yourself may also improve your interpersonal and business relationships, making you a better partner, parent, or employee.
The Rapper, Logic was on "CBS Sunday Morning," and talked about how he had anxiety attack during what should have been the happiest time of his life. However, Logic stated he had struggled for a year with finally being diagnosed with Derealization Anxiety. The Calm Clinic's article provides information on how an anxiety attack can reach a peak causing someone to feel as if their reality is "unreal" and the world around them is essentially crashing. This is "unreal" feeling or altered state is known as Derealization. It can be a frightening anxiety symptom, which is subjective.
Causes of Derealization From Anxiety
The Calm Clinic has provided the following: Derealization is incredibly complex. It's so complex that it's not entirely clear what occurs in the brain to allow people to trance out from reality. It's believed to be one of the body's natural coping mechanisms. During intense periods of anxiety (as occurs with panic disorder and other severe stress disorders), the mind essentially decides it's going to tune the world out in order to cope.
Since the mind keeps working during this tune out, the world becomes a place that feels unreal. It will almost always - although not always - occur in the peak of anxiety, along with other symptoms that are characteristic of an anxiety disorder.
Trying to make sense of a loss of reality is the best way to understand derealization is to imagine you were transported into a place you not only didn't know - you also didn't understand. A place where you cannot seem to follow what's going on or take information the world around you. This place not only wouldn't look familiar, but it couldn't look familiar, because you're not processing the information. There's no denying that this experience is profoundly unusual and frightening one. It can often feel like you're not really there, or the world around you is unreal. You may feel like you're watching something going on with no understanding of what it is, or that the world is a dream that you aren't able to escape. In some cases, derealization may be combined with depersonalization, which can make it feel like you're watching yourself.
Other anxiety symptoms may make the feeling of derealization worse. During anxiety attacks your pupils may dilate, and this can cause unusual vision. Anxiety may also weaken your muscles, making you feel lighter. There are countless ways that your anxiety symptoms may interact.
How to Stop Derealization
Derealization - when it comes from anxiety - is not considered dangerous. It generally goes away on its own and only comes during periods of intense anxiety. Even then, some people learn to cope with it and derealization never comes back. If your derealization is so persistent that it's altering your sense of reality, or it lasts for a long period of time, you may need to contact a doctor immediately. Doctors and psychologists generally agree that the best way to stop derealization is with mindfulness. Mindfulness is the act of becoming more aware of your own present. Mindfulness can be completed in a variety of ways, but the easiest way is to simply get yourself to perform an action and focus as much as possible on that action in order to get yourself back into the world.
Remember, derealization is an anxiety symptom. It doesn't mean you're psychotic, nor does it mean anything is wrong with your mind. As such, part of overcoming derealiation is simply to wait it out, then address your anxiety symptoms in order to make sure you don't experience that much anxiety again.
The Calm Clinic has a test, which claims to have helped hundreds of people suffering from derealization. It's a revealing test that will help you understand all of your anxiety symptoms better, and use them to get better treatments.
Help comes in all different ways and for many the lyrics from a young rapper named Logic reached out across the air waves to express to those who are struggling that they can seek help by contacting the National Suicide Hotline number. The rapper, wrote a hit song named for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and appeared today on "CBS Sunday Morning," speaking with correspondent Michelle Miller. Logic told Miller while he himself has never thought about committing suicide, he has experienced firsthand what it's like to feel hopeless.
"You said that you struggled with anxiety?" Miller asked.
"Yeah, for sure, 100 percent. I was in the worst place of my life," he said. "I was happily married and yet I was unhappy." It turns out, Logic received a diagnosis derealization anxiety disorder, which impacted his life for over a year. (TLC will provide more information in a separate article).
Since Logic's single was released in April of 2017, calls increased by 33% for the crisis hotline centers and soared even higher after Logic appeared on MTV Music Award show, where Logic shared the stage with people who had been affected by suicide personally.
"If you show people positively coping through suicidal moments, research has shown that that can actually save lives and reduce the suicide rate," said John Draper, the director of Lifeline.
On the MTV stage with Logic was Rosy Chen, whose ex-boyfriend committed suicide two years ago and she's struggled with thoughts of taking her own life. Chen said, "It was so moving, it was very powerful....I just couldn't stop crying."
"I just wanted them to know that they really weren't alone," Logic said
Natural disaster - I cover them i am one by Ginger zee is a welcome view on the transparency of mental health.
Ginger Zee has written a transparent book revealing not only her love and obsession of the weather as a young girl, which led her to her meteorology career of tracking many natural disasters, but she then reveals her own personal disasters. Ginger Zee reveals a life long struggle with depression and how it impacted her relationships, her career and more. Most importantly, Ginger allows readers to gain insight to her mental health diagnosis, how she learned to forgive herself of past errors and found therapeutic help and supports. Ginger Zee assists to help break the mental health stigma by giving readers understanding how revealing her true transparency about her mental health then allowed her to gain therapeutic strategies, which assisted her to create a successful path to a well-balanced life and mental health well-being.
tlc in a box Blog...
is here to provide products to those you may need some Therapeutic Loving Care for mental health as well as physical health supports. TLC IN A BOX's Blog is to assist, support with articles, books and more to help educate those who may be struggling with mental health issues or family who lack the knowledge and understanding of what their family member or friend is going through.